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nothing which I ought to have done.
I have been impatient unkind to those who
are my protectors. I have yielded to outbursts [?] of
passion given vent to my unruly member.
And acted contrary to God's requirements
have not brought forth the fruits of the
spriit. Have left undone what I ought to
have done, done what I ought not to have done.
There is no spiritual health within me.
January 15th. How thankful and grateful should
every heart feel for the inmumerable mercies and
privileges granted through a merciful Providence to
such undeserving wretches as we have and I especially
have always been. But I fear they have been [consumed?]
and enjoyed by me as they would have been by
the brute, without regarding the source from whence
they came. Thus the awful remembrance of another
day's passing, and no progress in the Christian
life Lord help me I am fast declining Help Lord
or I perish for Satan more gains advantage
my strength faileth. Oh! for a grateful heart
for a heart to yearn after the blessed Jesus to
desire more eagerly a knowledge of his love.