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fear, from what we have been able
to learn, that he was not killed
instantly, but lived for perhaps an
hour or more after he fell: this
thought is more agonizing than
any other, for I know that his
sufferings were past all description
oh! Miss Bettie I would have died
ten thousand deaths to have
saved him one single pang, then
is it not almost more than weak
human nature can do to keep from
murmuring, when I think that
he suffered all alone, that I was
not there to wipe the cold death
dew from his brow, to catch the
last fond look, & snatch the last
kiss from lips whose smile to me
was almost heaven: Oh! it seems
to me that my brain is on fire &