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fear, from what we have been able

to learn, that he was not killed

instantly, but lived for perhaps an

hour or more after he fell:  this

thought is more agonizing than

any other, for I know that his

sufferings were past all description

oh! Miss Bettie I would have died

ten thousand deaths to have

saved him one single pang, then

is it not almost more than weak

human nature can do to keep from

murmuring, when I think that

he suffered all alone, that I was

not there to wipe the cold death

dew from his brow, to catch the

last fond look, & snatch the last

kiss from lips whose smile to me

was almost heaven: Oh! it seems

to me that my brain is on fire &